Disclaimer

That you're even bothering to read this says something about you - and my writing it says something about me - we're both WEENIES! That having been said - you are likely to see something on this site to which you might take offense. It's theoretically possible. My advice is to CLICK AWAY NOW if you don't think you can handle it. This sites may contain images not suitable for childern. Put your childern in front of the TV - where there's much more suitable images. No animals were harmed in the contruction of this web-site. Any resemblence between persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Batteries not included. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Like it or lump it. Hang on to your ego and I'll be hanging by mine. Why was this web-site necessary? Well, strickly speaking NOTHING is necessary. Some things are required, some things are wanted - but nothing is necessary. Except this page, apparently. Is this a - "Hey dudes! Look at me! I'm standing on my head and spitting nickels! Ain't I terrific!" web-site? Not really. The way I look at it - I am doing this for the same reason a dog licks itself - because I CAN. So go on with you - keep on going and risk seeing or hearing something you may not like to see or hear. But let me tell ya - whatever it might be - it's no more obscene than the five o'clock news. Now there's some PORNOGRAPHY! But, I digress. I also RE-gress. But that's for another disclaimer. Ever notice how most disclaimers are written in very tiny print. Notice I don't do that here. I have SOME class - however limited - no matter what THEY say. And who is "they" exactly? It's - you know - THEM. "They" usually say - in really tiny print - something about how if your car gets trashed while in their care, custody and control - you are SOL. I don't do that here. I say you are S.O.L. in BIG print. You are S.O.L. if you see or hear something you don't like at www.mattydread.org. I'm up-front about it! That's the kind of guy Matty Dread is. Yes sir! He's a pip all right! He doesn't provocate around the bush. So what if he talks about himself in the third person? He's going to stop that now... Eh, hem... Jesus is COMING! Look BUSY! Well, that's about it. Let's see... Did I tell you not to look at this page if you're a fatheaded lout? Yep. Did I tell you keep yer damn kiddies off this site? Check. Did I say use the "off-switch" if it becomes too much for your "sensibilities"? Roger that. Did I say don't burden me with your lame-ass rejoinders? That's a big 10-4. So, that just about wraps this little disclaimer up. Oh, one more thing. HAVE A NICE DAY! That's real important. I want you to feel like you've had a positive experience while reading this disclaimer. It's ALL about a positive experience - I think - anyway. Now go away and sin some more. No, that's not right... Don't go away mad, just go away! Yeah! That's better! See ya! B-bye! So long, suckers! Daddy's going to Vegas - he needs a new pair of shoes! Did you really read this far? You're sicker than me! Get a life! Now, SCOOT! Get out there and play. Enjoy the sunshine, fer chrissakes! Sitting in front of a computer ain't no kind of life! No way - no how! Don't blame me - if it all passes you by. I didn't make you come here. Think of what you could have done with the time you used reading this disclaimer. It's sad, really. You'll never get THAT time back. Or that! It's gone in a twinkling. And there went another wasted moment! Oh, alas and alack! So get outta here, ya knucklehead! NONE of this is my fault. Well, maybe. But, you'll never pin it on me! That's because I DISCLAIM it! Disclaim, disclaim, disclaim!